Kookt Pamela Naakt? 10 Leugens Over Pamela Anderson

by World Wide Ed on Saturday, October 14, 1995

During my college days, the then editor of Televizier (a popular entertainment magazine in the Netherlands) contacted me to contribute a humorous Top 10 Lies about Pamela Anderson piece. At the time, I had a popular web page of the Baywatch beaut and Televizier I suppose regarded me as an expert in the field. Following is the interesting account of how it all transpired. How I became a international journalism superstar! LOL!

P.S. Keep in mind, I’m like barely 21, so my grammar and writing needs some polish, but I think you’ll get the idea.

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Date: Wed, 30 Aug 1995 22:53:46 -1000
From: carl lunenborg
Subject: (no subject)

Dear sir,

As the managing editor of TeleVizier, the largest broadcast-magazine in the Netherlands, Europe, I am preparing an article on THE TEN LIES ABOUT PAMELA ANDERSON. Since you maintain(ed) the Pamela Page, I ask you to help us in producing this list. Would you be so kind to reply as soon as possible on your availability?

Thanks,
Carl Lunenborg
editorial office TeleVizier
Hilversum, the Netherlands

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Date: Tue, 19 Sep 1995 23:02:33 -1000 (HST)
From: EDZ
To: carl lunenborg
Subject: Re: (no subject)

Mr. Lunenborg,

I’d be delighted to help you out with the “TOP TEN LIES ABOUT PAMELA ANDERSON” but I had a question pertaining to it. Is this list supposed to be in a comedic tone of voice or more on the serious side. As far as being on the “serious” side I may not be an expert on Mrs. Anderson, but if it was more of a “lighter” side top ten list, I’d be delighted to help you out. I am also a writer so I think I might be of some help.

Ed

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Date: Wed, 20 Sep 1995 01:34:06 -1000
To: EDZ
From: Carl Lunenborg
Subject: Re: (no subject)

Dear Ed (please call me Carl…),

How nice of you to help us in writing the Pamela-list! Because of the character of our magazine (by the way: 3.1 million readers) it seems better to keep this list bright and lite. If you are able to write your list as soon as possible; we are a weekly magazine and the deadlines are strangling us more and more… I suggest to handle this professional and ask you to reply me with a suggestion for a fee. I’m looking forward to your contribution! And lots of success, of course.

Carl Lunenborg
TeleVizier, the Netherlands

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Date: Thu, 21 Sep 1995 01:02:10 -1000 (HST)
From: EDZ
To: Carl Lunenborg
Subject: THE TEN LIES ABOUT PAMELA ANDERSON

To me, Pamela Anderson herself is a lie. An unattainable ideal of the perfect goddess that none of us desperately drooling fans can ever attain. In order to win her favor, you would have to be some kind of famous celebrity like a, hmm…maybe a drummer in a rock band or something like that. That’s the only way that any of us can ever fathom the thought of being with this unreal lie…Pamela Anderson.

Anyway, here are my TEN LIES ABOUT PAMELA ANDERSON:

1) She sleeps with no clothes on.
2) She made it in Hollywood for her dramatical acting ability.
3) She cooks with no clothes on.
4) Her mother is Lonnie Anderson (they sure look alike).
5) She showers with no clothes on, oh, er…maybe she does!
6) When grocery shopping, she prefers paper bags (as opposed to plastic!).
7) Tommy is not satisfied with her.
8) No man in the world would want to be Tommy right now.
9) All of her ex-boyfriends don’t care anymore.
10) She has a tatoo of my name on her butt…

Well, that was it! Hope you folks enjoyed it… And remember, Pamela is a human Barbi Doll. Play house and imagine whatever you want with her, but you will and never will be Ken!!

***********************************************************************
May I please have a copy of this magazine when it does come out Carl. Thank you. I hope this is what you were looking for in a list…

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Date: Mon, 2 Oct 1995 04:46:10 -1000
To: Ed
From: Carl Lunenborg
Subject: Pamela

Dear Edward,

Because of a tough illness (the Netherlands are cold and wet and the
Dutchmen are the snuffiest in the world; I’d rather be on my favorite Maui…), I couldn’t respond you earlier with my thanks for you help on the Pamela-article in TeleVizier. As you will see when I send you a copy, we’ve lifted you up to a level that will make you a Pamela-expert. Anyway… you will be suprised! Please let me know to which adress I can send the copy of our magazine. Thanks again!

Carl Lunenborg
TeleVizier, the Netherlands

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Date: Tue, 3 Oct 1995 01:06:39 -1000 (HST)
From: Ed
To: Carl Lunenborg
Subject: Re: Pamela

Wow! I hope you are feeling ok. It is nice and sunny here (hehe… just kidding!). Thank you for making me look good! =) And thank you for the issue. Can you send it to:

xxx Road
Honolulu, Hawaii. xxx

Thanks again and I hope you feel better now! Let me know if you guys need any more help, seeing that I am an “expert” now… hehe! BYE!

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So there you have it. Little ol’ me in tiny little Honolulu, Hawaii, published as an expert in a the largest broadcast magazine all the way over in the Netherlands… Holla!

TeleVizier Magazine Cover

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Donnell Quinzi October 6, 2010 at 11:36 am

I think Pamela Anderson is sexy, too bad tommy lee (piece of poop) gave her hep. if it wasn’t for that junk(hep) i would love to get some moments with her.

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