Strange Noises In the Potty

by World Wide Ed on Tuesday, May 5, 2009

A recent trip to the little boy’s room made me recall a humorous conversation/debate I had with wifey and her friends a while back. At some point during that conversation, it took a downward spiral (probably thanks to me) as we discussed the riveting topic of bathroom etiquette. Curiously, I axed the shy sistahs if they actually made “noise” when handling’ their bidness at a public restroom.

You should’ve seen the cold stare (not to mention the deafening silence) I got from that one. Sheez.

Upon returning from the death stare and silence, they asked me, “Why!? Do YOU!?!?”

Now if you know anything about me, I’m all about honesty. No shame! So I gave it to them:

“Of course! Why not!? I don’t know any of these people, and, even if I did, who cares? It’s human nature! It’s unhealthy to hold it in!”

[insert more cold stares and silence in addition to crinkled noses and “Ewwwwwws!”]

I continued…

“BUT… at work it’s a different story. If somebody saw me going in, or they know I’m in thurr, I try and hold back shmall kine.”

There’s just a different set of rules for work potty usage no? Ya gotsta stay professional up in the heezy. I don’t exactly want the trumpet to blow while one of the execs sits in the stall next to me. That’s just weird. Plus it might affect my year end reviews. 😉

There’s also a timing strategy involved. (Eh, no laugh! I know you got the same strategy! *grin*) You gotta make sure that anybody in the bat’chroom with you is gonedos before you make your grand exit. There’s nothing worse than playing a virtual virtuoso of noises in the stall, only to step out to a bunch of glaring/inquisitive co-worker eyes who were wondering who that Dizzy Gillespie-wannabe was tooting in the stall. LOL!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not exactly a noise maker extraordinaire, but sometimes ya just gotsta let loose, ya heard? After all, it’s not very good for your health… 😛

(… I still can’t believe I just wrote about this topic. Apologies… 8) )

Talk to me…
* Do you make noise?
* Is your strategy different at work than it is in public?
* How about at home? In front of your spouse/mate/roommate/parents?
* What about farts? Same rules apply?
* Any other bathroom etiquette rules you live by?
* Is this entire blog just wrong?

In the News…/Hijacking Topics
* Dancing with the Stars
* The Biggest Loser
* American Idol Final Four picks
* X-Men Origins: Wolverine
* NBA Playoffs (Goooooooooo Magic! Whew! That was a close one!)
* LeBron James’ MVP Honor
* R.I.P. Jack Kemp
* David Cook’s brother dies of cancer
* David Hasselhoff rushed to hospital

Have a good “Happy Boys’ Day” Tuesday!

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