Valet Gone Wild

by World Wide Ed on Monday, May 11, 2009

Is it just me or am I the only one DEATHLY afraid of valet service?

I’m not sure if I’ve been “trained” by my pops to despise them (he always tells me “don’tu you evah do balet you know” in his Japanese accent) or if it’s because of personal experience (the surf racks on the top of my ride was totally destroyed by some valet goon), or both, but to this day, I avoid valet service like the plague.

[back story]
So about 5 or so years ago, I had to park in some random building for a meeting and the only option was valet. D’oh! The meeting went well and all was fine until *dun dun DUNNNNN!* I got back to my car. For some reason my surf racks were in my back seat as they were trying to send me off. I was like “oh no he di-ENT!”, parked the g-ride, got out of my car and asked them what was going on. The imbecile valet guy was like “oh, no, nothing, they just fell off on their own so I put them in your car for you.”

I was then like, “C’mon, be serious!” as I started to examine the dents in the roof of my car. He continued to deny it, saying they just fell off. Getting nowhere, I just asked for the manager and the name and contact info for the owner of the parking structure. Months later, I was finally able to get them to admit it and have their insurance company take care of the damages. But for me, the (psychological) damages were already done.

Fast forward to today.

I think I’ve gotsta be the most paranoid/anxious person in the world when it comes to valet service. I can’t speak for all valet drivers, but I’m guessing a good number of ’em, frankly, my darling, just don’t give a damn. It’s not their car, it’s just a part time job, and most of the time, they’re in a freakish rush.

A ding in the bumper here, a scratch on the mirror there… What I can’t see won’t hurt them is what they’re probably thinking. From what I hear, these bad boys make REALLY good pay (with the tip) too. The least they could do is care about my car right?

Grrrrr…

On a random side note, don’t you get shmall kine irraz when there’s balet service in a parking lot that certainly doesn’t need it!? I can park my car right there *pointing* and get it after dinner right there *pointing again*… yet, the valet dude insists that it’s valet only just so he can get his lousy tip from me.

Double Grrrr…

Am I just being a crazy, paranoid, schizophrenic or are there other peeps out there who share this same sentiment? Please holla at cho boy if you’re with me. 8)

Talk to me…
* Are you just as paranoid as me?
* Got horror stories of your own to share?
* Wanna dare name your least favorite valet spots? Most favorite?
* How much do you usually tip?
* Are you from the valet world? Give us some perspective from your side? Is this all a common misconception?
* Are you more careful with nicer cars? Less so with beat-up ol’ jalopies
* Is it true that you guys make mad bank?

Hijacking topics
* How did you spend your mother’s day weekend?
* Did you Star Trek it up?
* Damn you Glen Davis (and Boston)!!!
* R.I.P. Chuck Daly

Happy Monday y’all! Have a great week!

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