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Christmas Funnies

December 25th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Events, Honolulu Advertiser Posts, Jokes, Random

MERRY CHRISTMAS YALL!!!

For those who are taking a brief break from their holiday celebrations to check on in here, here are two quickie Christmas related forwards I got. Hope they help to put a smile on your face on this Christmas day. :)

WEEWEECHU

WEEWEECHU
Weeweechu

It’s a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, “Hey, mamacita, let’s do Weeweechu.”

Oh no, not now, let’s look at the moon!” said Rosita.

Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it’s the perfect time,” Pedro begged.

“But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon.” replied Rosita.

Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me.”

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, “OK, one time, we’ll do Weeweechu.”

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang…..

“Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.”

—————————–

The Greatest Christmas Decoration Ever!

The Greatest Christmas Decoration Ever!
The Greatest Christmas Decoration Ever!

Fantastic. Greg sends along this DIY FYI:

“Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever.Great stories. But two things made me take it down.

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn’t realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn’t take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard.”

—————————–

12th Hour UPDATE!

Bruddah David In Oregon literally just sent this to me, so I’m adding it to the funnies. Mahaloz D.O.!

Christmas Funnies
Christmas Funnies

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Christmas Funnies
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Christmas Funnies
Christmas Funnies

Christmas Funnies
Christmas Funnies

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Now, get back to your family ya hear? Actually, comment first and then get back to your family! Priorities… :P

Have a safe and happy holiday season gang! See you next year! :)

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Why Women Shouldn’t Take Men Shopping

December 24th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Honolulu Advertiser Posts, Jokes, Random

Wow, two blogs in a row? And, during the holidays no less!? Yep, that’s just the way I Rolo. (Weren’t those just the bomb back in the day? :P ) I even have another blog queued up for tomorrow, so trifecta hurr we come!

Anyway, this one’s for all y’all procrastinators out there! If you find yourself needing to shop today, on Christmas Eve, you must be outcho damn mind! ;) But seriously, if you need to do a little last minute action, here’s a funny forward I received from a co-worker, to help get you in the mood. Enjoy!

Why Women Shouldn’t Take Men Shopping

Dear Mrs. Sugimoto, (name changed for realism ;) )

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Sugimoto, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, “Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away”. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a “CAUTION – WET FLOOR” sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?” EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his
nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his “Madonna look” by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled “PICK ME! PICK ME!”

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed “OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!”

And last, but certainly not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, “Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.” One of the clerks passed out.

————————

Talk to me!
* In the comment area below, post another funny thing “Mr. Sugimoto” could do at the store above. Be as creative as you can…

One more day ’til Christmas y’all! The post for tomorrow will contain more funnies. Until then… Shoots!

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Where In Hawaii is Edward Sugimoto? – December 23, 2009

OK, OK… as we approach Christmas (just two days away!), the holiday spirit is finally hitting me. So even though I was supposed to join the rest of y’all on holiday hiatus, I thought I’d entertain the few of you who are still checking in with this Christmasy-themed Where In Hawaii. Enjoy! :)  

Last week, bruddah kuya.d crept up to 3rd place on da leadahboard by correctly guessing Toshi’s Delicatessen. That gives him back to back wins and puts him in position to be the first for the turkey. Congrats dewz! 

This week, we got some animation ack-shon goin’ on again. It’s a festive Christmas tree from bottom to top. Too bad for you, I cropped out most of the background. Muhahahaha! 8) 

Attempting another multi-point photo might be hard with less people reading, but let’s give it a go shall we? Here’s how we’ll divvy up the points this week: 

* General Location: 1 point
* Name of closest business: 1 point
* Name of closest cross streets: 1 point each (3 points possible) 

Where In Hawaii is Edward Sugimoto? - December 23, 2009
Where In Hawaii is Edward Sugimoto? – December 23, 2009 

Hints: Ho Ho Ho! ;)  


Da “Where In Hawaii” Winnahz Circle! 

Da Leadahboard! 

  1. Coconut Willy – 9
  2. snow – 8
  3. kuya.d – 5
  4. Takeshi – 4.5
  5. rayboyjr – 3
    M – 3
    Paco – 3
    HNL2LAS – 3
  6. NeedaHobby – 2
    MakiSushi – 2
    NaPueo – 2
    hemajang – 2
    Syxx – 2
    jr. – 2
  7. pink lady – 1.5
    skycastles – 1.5
  8. tita leerz – 1
    carokun – 1
    mcat – 1
    YN – 1
    Scott – 1
    Marvo – 1
    k15 – 1
    getITon – 1
    Kage – 1
    miLL-viLLe – 1
    jack – 1
    frankie – 1
    Ynaku – 1
    Rodney – 1
    teej – 1
    BarbieQ! – 1
    kako mochi – 1
    ijiwarui – 1
    GumbysHorse – 1
  9. Coconut Willy’s wifey – 0.5
    MoOgooGuypAN – 0.5

Back to Back Winnahz!
* snow, Paco, Syxx, NaPueo, MakiSushi, pink lady, kuya.d 

P.S. Adding this footnote to all future WIH posts… If any of y’all have pics you’d like to contribute to the “Where In Hawaii” game, feel free to email them to me and I’ll post um up in future blogs! And yes, you aren’t allowed to guess on those days! LOL! :P  

Happy Hump Day Where In Hawaii Wednesday y’all. Shooooots!

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Flashback Friday: Holiday Memories

December 18th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Flashback Friday, Food, Hawaii, Honolulu Advertiser Posts

A-ight peeps, as the end of December quickly approaches, I, like the rest of y’all, will be taking a little break for the holidays. Let’s face it… many of you are probably not reading during this time anyway. :P

But before that, I wanted to take the time to thank all of you wonderful readers for supporting WWE these last few years (can you believe April 28, 2010 makes 2 years!?). It’s been fun and it seems like we’ve been through a lot together, even though many of us have never met IRL. Gotta love the power of the Internet eh?

I’ve had the pleasure of playing fantasy football with some of you, and have even met a few others in person. Speaking of which, much love to bruddahs hemajang and MakiSushi for their gifts of T-shirts, and bruddah bB for his furikake and stone cookie omiyage (brok’ da mout’ literally!) from the B.I.! Hopefully, I was able to repay the favor to some of you with my movie pass and UH basketball ticket giveaways, local reviews/articles/interviews, and overall silliness of this blog. Hope it helped to play at least a small role in your otherwise busy lives.

Your Fave Holiday Memories?

K, let’s do a quick Flashback Friday kine moment hurr:

* Since the holidays are a special time we share with our loved ones, let’s use this moment to share with each other, our favorite holiday memory/mammaries. 8). Use the comment box below to share with da WWE `ohana. Yes, sorry, that was a lot of “share”s. :P

For me, I think the most recent memory was making mochi at grandma’s house last year. As Japanee as I am, that was the first time I ever did that. Fun fun!

Food, Family and Fun: The True Meaning of the Holidays
Food, Family and Fun: The True Meaning of the Holidays

P.S. I won’t completely disappear from your life though! Shucks huh? :P   I’ve been getting a few Christmas/holiday related forwards lately, so I may be posting those from time to time, to pass your time (to time). ;) Don’t want ya to forget about WWE after all! :P

Have a safe and happy holiday season gang! See y’all next year! *wave* :)

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Where In Hawaii is Edward Sugimoto? – December 16, 2009

With two back to back weeks of comments hitting in the triple digits (and a whoppin’ 208 last week, WWE is officially legit. Majahloz for your active participation as of late. Makes a brutha feel good. You guys are DA BOMB!!! :)

Not quite sure if this week’s comment count will be as insane as in the past since the formula for high comment counts = Japanese restaurant + caption contest, but we can definitely try right? 8) We go!

BTW, congrats to the winners of last week’s points fiesta!:

* Name of business: Long’s Drugs (0.5 a piece to rayboyjr. and kuya.d)
* Location of business: Aiea, but technically Pearl City (0.5 points a piece to pink lady and kuya.d)
* Funniest caption: ”Hana….hana buttah….boogahz!” (1 point to tita leerz)

Where In Hawaii is Edward Sugimoto? - December 16, 2009
Where In Hawaii is Edward Sugimoto? – December 16, 2009

Hints: Some place dat get chow fun! ;)


Da “Where In Hawaii” Winnahz Circle!

Da Leaderboard!

  1. Coconut Willy - 9
  2. snow - 8
  3. Takeshi – 4.5
  4. kuya.d – 4
  5. rayboyjr – 3
    M – 3
    Paco – 3
    HNL2LAS – 3
  6. NeedaHobby – 2
    MakiSushi – 2
    NaPueo – 2
    hemajang – 2
    Syxx – 2
    jr. – 2
  7. pink lady – 1.5
    skycastles – 1.5
  8. tita leerz – 1
    carokun – 1
    mcat – 1
    YN – 1
    Scott – 1
    Marvo – 1
    k15 – 1
    getITon – 1
    Kage – 1
    miLL-viLLe – 1
    jack – 1
    frankie – 1
    Ynaku – 1
    Rodney – 1
    teej – 1
    BarbieQ! – 1
    kako mochi – 1
    ijiwarui – 1
    GumbysHorse – 1
  9. Coconut Willy’s wifey – 0.5
    MoOgooGuypAN – 0.5

Back to Back Winnahz!
*  snow, Paco, Syxx, NaPueo, MakiSushi, pink lady

P.S. Adding this footnote to all future WIH posts… If any of y’all have pics you’d like to contribute to the “Where In Hawaii” game, feel free to email them to me and I’ll post um up in future blogs! And yes, you aren’t allowed to guess on those days! LOL! :P

Happy Hump Day Where In Hawaii Wednesday y’all. Shooooots!

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Photography at the Right Angle – Caption Contest (1 of 23)

December 14th, 2009 | 4 Comments | Posted in Fun Day Monday, Honolulu Advertiser Posts

Our beloved tita leerz forwarded a funny email to me recently that included 23 images, all shot at amusing camera angles. Initially, I was just gonna do a lil’ cut and paste ack-shon and show all 23 images here at once, but with the popularity of last week’s WIH contest, that included a caption contest, and my eternal greed hunger for planny comment 8) , I thought it might be fun to spread these photos out over the next 23 weeks (yeah, you can’t get rid of me! :P ) and have a caption contest each week. Sound good? Let’s give it a whirl shall we?

World Wide Ed
Photography at the Right Angle – Caption Contest (1 of 23)


Da “Photography at the Right Angle – Caption Contest” Winnahz Circle! :)

  1. Week 1 - ???
  2. Week 2 - ???
  3. Week 3 - ???
  4. Week 4 - ???
  5. Week 5 - ???
  6. Week 6 - ???
  7. Week 7 - ???
  8. Week 8 - ???
  9. Week 9 - ???
  10. Week 10 - ???
  11. Week 11 - ???
  12. Week 12 - ???
  13. Week 13 - ???
  14. Week 14 - ???
  15. Week 15 - ???
  16. Week 16 - ???
  17. Week 17 - ???
  18. Week 18 - ???
  19. Week 19 - ???
  20. Week 20 - ???
  21. Week 21 - ???
  22. Week 22 - ???
  23. Week 23 - ???

Post your caption below for the photo above. Funniest one makes it to the golden list above… Worth absolutely nothing, but fun nonetheless! ;)

Have a great week y’all!

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Fave Friday: Touristy Thangs

December 11th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Events, Fave Friday, Hawaii, Honolulu Advertiser Posts, MMA

Since my friends were in from outta town recently, I decided to take a vacation day the other day and tag along with them as they took care of some errands. We did some local kine stuffs (ate at Shige’s Saimin Stand in Wahiawa, and went to the swap meet), and we also did some touristy kine stuffs (checked out Dole Plantation, and went to the swap meet :P ), and actually had quite a good time playing tourist.

Amusing Graphic Tees at the Aloha Stadium Swap Meet
Amusing Graphic Tees at the Aloha Stadium Swap Meet

Even though many of us have lived in the islands our entire lives, ain’t it still fun to hit up the north shore for some shave ice or stay at a hotel in “waiks” from time to time, just because? Why let the tourists have all the fun in this beautiful state we call home? Let’s list our fave things to do in the islands to “play tourist”. Who knows? Maybe some of you will even do a few of these this weekend. :) Hurr’s mine:

1) Travel to a neighbor island – OK, so technically, I actually AM a tourist when I travel outside of Oahu, but still, it’s fun, and yet, I still feel “local”, naw mean?
2) Show “real” tourists around – I get many visitors from the mainland as well as the muthaland, and there’s no greater joy I get from seeing their faces light up when I show them those great places to eat, drink and be merry!
3) North shore ack-shon – Growing up in town and east Oahu, the north shore was always so far for me that I rarely got to get out there (it was like going to another planet!). Whenever I hit up Haleiwa town or check out the shrimp trucks or get out to Laie side, it’s always new and fun.
4) Stay in Waiks – It’s always fun to feel how the tourists feel when they visit us.
5) Cruise Waiks – Just park anywhere in Waikiki (probably at the Zoo or along the Ala Wai) and walk up and down Kalakaua Ave (and/or Kuhio). Fun times!

So how do you guys play tourist? Post your thoughts in the comment area below!

Happy VHO7V Friday, and have a great weekend y’all! :) Shoots!

Weekend Events!
* Local boy BJ Penn is taking on Diego Sanchez tomorrow night at UFC 107 (5PM HST on Oceanic Time Warner Cable Pay-Per-View). Be sure to support our Hawaiian brutha and root him on k? Watch the UFC 107 streaming events throughout the weekend here.
* Our UH Rainbow Warriors are taking on Chicago State at the Stan Sheriff Center. Support the Bows as well! If you can’t make it to the game, you can always order it on TV! 8)
* The 2009 Honolulu Marathon is this Sunday. Unless you’re a fan of traffic, try to avoid the path that the marathon takes at all costs. (no sales pitch here! :P )

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Where In Hawaii is Edward Sugimoto? – December 9, 2009

Awwww YEEE-AH son! We exceeded all of my hopes and dreams and hit triple digits last week! (yes, it’s a big deal for this blog! :P ) Props to all y’all who posted your guesses and guesses (and guesses)! :) It is much appreciated! Tiny kine props to the picture itself cause it sure was a toughie! ;) And congrats to pink lady who got it correct with the 81st guess!

This week, we’ve got one of dem multi-point possibilities again. Hurr’s how we’ll divvy em up…

* 1 point: Name of business
* 1 point: Location of business
* 1 point: Funniest caption (to go along with the picture)

Sound guuuud? Go getum!

Where In Hawaii is Edward Sugimoto? - December 9, 2009
Where In Hawaii is Edward Sugimoto? – December 9, 2009

Hints: Hmmm. I guess it’s some place that may or may not sell greeting cards. 8) Holla!


Da “Where In Hawaii” Winnahz Circle!

Da Leaderboard!

  1. Coconut Willy - 9
  2. snow - 8
  3. Takeshi – 4.5
  4. kuya.d - 3
    M – 3
    Paco – 3
    HNL2LAS – 3
  5. rayboyjr - 2.5
  6. NeedaHobby – 2
    MakiSushi – 2
    NaPueo – 2
    hemajang – 2
    Syxx – 2
    jr. – 2
  7. skycastles – 1.5
  8. pink lady - 1
    carokun – 1
    mcat – 1
    YN – 1
    Scott – 1
    Marvo – 1
    k15 – 1
    getITon – 1
    Kage – 1
    miLL-viLLe – 1
    jack – 1
    frankie – 1
    Ynaku – 1
    Rodney – 1
    teej – 1
    BarbieQ! – 1
    kako mochi – 1
    ijiwarui – 1
    GumbysHorse – 1
  9. Coconut Willy’s wifey – 0.5
    MoOgooGuypAN – 0.5

Back to Back Winnahz!
*  snow, Paco, Syxx, NaPueo, MakiSushi

P.S. Adding this footnote to all future WIH posts… If any of y’all have pics you’d like to contribute to the “Where In Hawaii” game, feel free to email them to me and I’ll post um up in future blogs! And yes, you aren’t allowed to guess on those days! LOL! :P

Happy Hump Day Where In Hawaii Wednesday y’all. Shooooots!

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Manswers Monday: Non-Alcoholic Beer

December 7th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Manswers Monday

OK, folks. Mixin’ it up again and trying something new here. With one of the most entertaining/hilarious shows on TV (at least for me) back for its second season, I thought it’d be fun to do a little Manswers Monday trivia, in honor of Manswers on Spike TV (Oceanic Channel 76 or Digital Channel 559 8) ).

As I’m not really sure how open y’all are to risque topics (e.g. 58008 LOL!), I’ll start with a rather tame one. :P

How many non-alcoholic beers would it take to get drunk?

Here are some tidbits from the show to help:

WARNING: Excessive alcohol consumption is dangerous and could kill you. Don’t do it, dude!
Non-alcoholic beer is made just like regular beer. After the beer has been brewed, the alcohol is removed by heating it up to alcohol’s boiling point, where the alcohol then evaporates. However, this will not remove all the alcohol. It leaves about 1/2 of 1% (.5%), which is about 1/8th the strength of near beer. According to the University of Oklahoma, 15 “non-alcoholic” beers will give an average guy a blood alcohol level of .02% (.08% is considered legally drunk).

Don’t you just love how they make it all scientific? So funny, yet so ridiculous! Ahahahaha!

Talk to me!
* How many non-alcoholic beers do YOU think it takes to get drunk? Don’t cheat and watch the online video! ;)
* Are you open to chatting about some of the more “racier” topics from this show?
* What other shows do you want me to watch and dish about. Please don’t say Top Chef. :P
* Do you drink or have you ever drank non-alcoholic beer? Why? 8)
* What is your favorite regular kine beer?
* Anyone catch the Ultimate Fighter Finale fights? Thoughts on Kimbo Slice’s performance? Thoughts on other fights?
* Y’all ready and excited for BJ Penn’s fight this Saturday at UFC 107?
* How’s your Monday and week looking so far?

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Fave Friday: Possessions

December 4th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Fave Friday, Honolulu Advertiser Posts

Quick, you’re in a fire and you’ve got 5 things to save. What would you grab?

Heaven forbid this were to happen to any of us, but if it ever does, we’ve gotsta think fast and grab what’s most important. What does your priority list look like? Hurr’s mine:

1) Wifey of course. Awwww…
2) My personal effects (phone, wallet, keys, etc.)
3) My computers
4) My HDTV
5) Blankie (for wifey of course! ;) )

Bonus content!
I recently saw this HILARIOUS video today and thought I’d share. I don’t wanna give it away too much so just go watchum go. Alls I gotsta say is “Why didn’t I think of this!?!?” Hehe!


Instant Update

GIVEAWAY
I have two extra tickets to this Sunday’s UH Men’s Basketball game again Lamar (12/06 @ 5:05pm). If anyone wants ‘em, let me know!

Happy VHO7V Friday, and have a great weekend y’all! :) Shoots!

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Where In Hawaii is Edward Sugimoto? – December 2, 2009

I’m pretty excited today. Not so much for anything other than the promise of this post’s potential comment count.

You see, if history is any indication, the Japanese food shots tend to get a lot of action comin’ in from da regulars and lurkers alike. On top of that, this Hawaii restaurant is not exactly a “mainstream” one. Combine that with the fact that the dish looks it could be from anywhere, and we’ve got the perfect storm. Record-breaking comment count hurrr we come! Muhahaha!

OK, I know somebody will probably get it early and burst my bubble, but a fella can dream right? In the meantime, please help me congratulate da 4 winnahz from last week (kuya.d and snow with 2 points a piece, and Coconut Willy and rayboyjr with 1.5 points a piece). I kinda like this multi-point per week scoring action. Congrats! ;)

This week, we’re back on Oahu, but I think (and hope!) it’ll be quite the challenge. Put on your thinkin’ caps and guess away y’all!

Where In Hawaii is Edward Sugimoto? - December 2, 2009
Where In Hawaii is Edward Sugimoto? – December 2, 2009

Hints: Could be any Japanese restaurant around the state. *grin* OKfine, on Oahu. 8)


Da “Where In Hawaii” Winnahz Circle!

Da Leaderboard!

  1. Coconut Willy - 9
  2. snow - 8
  3. Takeshi – 4.5
  4. HNL2LAS – 3
    Paco – 3
    M – 3
    kuya.d - 3
  5. rayboyjr - 2.5
  6. jr. – 2
    Syxx – 2
    hemajang – 2
    NaPueo – 2
    MakiSushi – 2
    NeedaHobby – 2
  7. skycastles – 1.5
  8. GumbysHorse – 1
    ijiwarui – 1
    kako mochi – 1
    BarbieQ! – 1
    teej – 1
    Rodney – 1
    Ynaku – 1
    frankie – 1
    jack – 1
    miLL-viLLe – 1
    Kage – 1
    getITon – 1
    k15 – 1
    Marvo – 1
    Scott – 1
    YN – 1
    mcat – 1
    carokun – 1
  9. MoOgooGuypAN – 0.5
    Coconut Willy’s wifey – 0.5

Back to Back Winnahz!
*  snow, Paco, Syxx, NaPueo, MakiSushi

P.S. Adding this footnote to all future WIH posts… If any of y’all have pics you’d like to contribute to the “Where In Hawaii” game, feel free to email them to me and I’ll post um up in future blogs! And yes, you aren’t allowed to guess on those days! LOL! :P
P.P.S. Don’t forget to check out my December article about Lanai, written for Road Runner Hawaii!

A Weekend In Lana`i
A Weekend In Lana`i

Happy Hump Day Where In Hawaii Wednesday y’all. Shooooots!

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A Weekend In Lana`i

December 1st, 2009 | 2 Comments | Posted in Food, Hawaii, Road Runner Hawaii Columns, Travel

Close your eyes with me for a second.

Now imagine a stunning paradise, filled with breathtaking magnificence and splendor. Can you see it? Can you feel it? It’s right there isn’t it?

Now open your eyes.

Chances are, the place you just dreamt about looked strikingly similar to the picturesque island we’re about to visit…

As the 1 year wedding anniversary for wifey and I approached, I thought it’d be a fun little surprise to whisk her away to somewhere unique and different for the weekend. A place that neither her or I have ever been before. After putting up with me for 365 days after all, she pretty much earned it right? :P

So for a short weekend, we decided to close our eyes and get swept away to the island now known as the “Private Isle”, formerly the “Pineapple Isle” (“Pineapple Isle” because it used to be a place where a quarter of the world’s pineapples were produced and “Private Isle” because 98% of it is privately owned by David Murdock via Castle & Cooke). Here are some tips on how to best enjoy your “Lanaian” adventure. Hope it helps!

You’ve pretty much got two choices in terms of booking a flight to Lana`i: Island Air (who also provides flights to Hawaiian Air) and go! Airlines. Mokulele Airlines (who has recently partnered with go!) also has flights via their charter service, but booking a flight directly via their web site, at the time of this writing, was not working.

According to their route map, for flights to Lana`i, go! flies out of both Honolulu and Kahului via their go! Express service, while Island Air (and Hawaiian Air) only has flights out of Honolulu. On this occasion, booking through Island Air directly gave me the cheapest fares.

Boarding our Lana`i bound plane at sunset via Island Air
Boarding our Lana`i bound plane at sunset via Island Air

Ed’s Tip: If you’re weary of planes, it may be a rough take-off for you. Since it is a smaller, propeller powered flight, you will hear and feel everything during lift off. Once airborne though, everything is smoove.

Upon landing in Lana`i City, you will deplane, walk into the terminal and turn right towards the shuttle service check-in counter.

Shuttle service check-in counter
Shuttle service check-in counter

As long as you’ve made your reservation through one of the resorts (or Hotel Lana`i), the shuttles will be ready for your arrival. At about $20 per person for unlimited rides, it is totally worth the investment. Trust!

Ed’s Tip: Unless you are planning on going gallivanting around the entire island (which is mostly via off-road jeeping), there really is no need to rent a car. The shuttle stops at the three major destinations of the island: the Lodge at Koele at the top of every hour, in Lana`i City (Hotel Lana`i) at the :15 minute mark (Manele bound) and :45 minute mark (Koele bound) of every hour, and at Manele Bay at the :30 minute mark of every hour.

Lana`i shuttle arriving at the Lodge at Koele
Lana`i shuttle arriving at the Lodge at Koele

Arriving at the hotel, you are immediately pampered and made to feel like royalty. You are greeted with a kukui nut lei, and, instead of standing and waiting in a long line to check in, you are asked to take a seat, while offered a hot towel to freshen up. Did I mention that they bring you a sweet pineapple beverage to quench your thirst too? Geez, a fella can get used to this!

We chose to stay at the Four Seasons Resort, Lana`i, The Lodge at Koele, a great alternative to the other two Lana`i options: Four Seasons Resort Lana`i at Manele Bay, and Hotel Lana`i.

I can’t really speak on Hotel Lana`i because I’ve never stayed there, but I would highly recommend staying at the Lodge at Koele. And though absolutely beautiful, the Manele Bay resort is the most expensive of the three and is almost like any other beach resort you’ve been to, especially if you’re from Hawaii. Hotel Lana`i is the cheapest and most central (right in the heart of Lana`i City), but you will not get the luxury of the Four Seasons.

The Lodge at Koele was a dream. You are in Hawaii, but it is almost like you are not in Hawaii. Like you’ve been swept away to a high-class countryside villa in the middle of the forest, complete with tall pines, its own pond, and elegant art strewn all about. And because of all of the greenery (and because of the higher elevation), it is much cooler – cold even – than its Manele counterpart (which sits right on the ocean front).

Four Seasons Resort Lana`i, The Lodge At Koele
One Keomoku Hwy
Lana`i City, HI 96763 (map)
(808) 565-4000
Twitter: @FSLanai

Ed’s Tips: As expected at such a luxurious resort, rates are not cheap. Be sure to ask for the kama`aina rate (if you’re local) and/or special golf packages (if you’re a golfer). If you’re on Twitter, be sure to drop them a line. They are very active on there and seem to appreciate anything and everything Lana`i. Tell ‘em @worldwideed sent ya and… ya never know! :) They’re doing Twitter right fo sho.

One of the recommendations given to us was to try the food at Lana`i City Grille at Hotel Lana`i, so shortly after checking in and freshening up, we caught the shuttle (at the top of the hour) over to Hotel Lana`i for dinner.

Lana`i City Grille sign at Hotel Lana`i
Lana`i City Grille sign at Hotel Lana`i

Wifey and I shared the Crab Cakes and Soup of the Day (a spicy lobster bisque) to start.

Crab Cakes - Tomato Corn Salsa and Tobiko Remoulade - $14
Crab Cakes – Tomato Corn Salsa and Tobiko Remoulade – $14

Soup of the Day - Spicy lobster bisque - $9
Soup of the Day – Spicy lobster bisque – $9

Then, she moved on to the Pecan Crusted Catch of the Day (Mahi) while I took on the Grilled Filet of Angus Beef.

Pecan Crusted Mahi - Chipotle Honey Butter, Chorizo Potato Puree and Seasonal Vegetables - $34
Pecan Crusted Mahi – Chipotle Honey Butter, Chorizo Potato Puree and Seasonal Vegetables – $34

Grilled Filet of Angus Beef - Aged Cheddar Potato Cake, Roasted Root Vegetables and a Classic Bearnaise - $39
Grilled Filet of Angus Beef – Aged Cheddar Potato Cake, Roasted Root Vegetables and a Classic Bearnaise – $39

Ed’s Tips: Make a reservation as it fills up fast here. Especially on Friday nights when local band Alapa Drive jams for the locals and tourists alike. Also, portions are pretty big here. Bring your appetite!

Lana`i City Grille
828 Lanai Avenue
Lana`i City, Lana`i, HI 96763 (map)
(808) 565-7211
Wed-Sun: 5pm-9pm

One thing we noticed early on about Lana`i is the people. They’re extremely friendly and filled with Aloha. And I’m not talking about those in the industry, catering to us tourists. They’re almost required to be nice to us. I’m talking about the local locals. Walking around, we were regularly greeted with smiles, several “Howzits!” and an occasional “Aloha!” I was really impressed and happy to see that the Aloha Spirit is alive and well here!

There doesn’t seem to be a lot of crime here either. Enjoying our meal, we missed the shuttle headed to Koele. No problem, we’ll just walk it back. Other than a crazy cat that leaped out of the woodworks, we felt completely safe in the darkness (street lights are few and far between). Safety? The result of a laid back lifestyle I guess.

Ed’s Tip: The walk between Lana`i City and the Lodge at Koele follows a single road (Lana`i Ave) for about a mile and takes approximately 20-25 minutes. Not too bad. If you don’t want to wait for the shuttle to come back around. It’s also a good way to walk off your meal if you find yourself overeating. 8)

The next morning, we hit up the town square that surrounds Dole Park, also referred to as “the city”. It’s a cute, quaint little town that is actually listed on the National Trust’s list of most “endangered historic places”.

One place that we were regularly told we HAD to check out was a place called Blue Ginger Cafe, right in the heart of Lana`i City.

Blue Ginger Cafe, Lana`i
Blue Ginger Cafe, Lana`i

Not only did they seem to have the longest hours of any merchant in the square (6AM-8PM on most days), they also had a full fledged bakery selection and a flat screen HDTV to boot. Let’s just hope that they have Oceanic Time Warner Cable service for this free plug. ;)

Their menu ranged from breakfast items (including Omelettes, Pancakes, French Toast, etc.), plate lunch kine stuffs (Hamburger Steak, Loco Moco, Chicken Katsu, etc.), burgers, sandwiches, saimin, fried rice, “healthy choices”, their bakery options, and more!

Since it was breakfast time, I had to go with my all-time favorite breakfast meal: Corned Beef Hash and Eggs! Awwww yeaaaahhh!

Regular Breakfast - 2 Eggs, Choice of Meat (Portuguese Sausage, Patty Sausage, Corned Beef Hash, Spam, Bacon, Ham), served with Rice, Fried Rice, Hash Brown or Toast - $7.50
Regular Breakfast – 2 Eggs, Choice of Meat (Portuguese Sausage, Patty Sausage, Corned Beef Hash, Spam, Bacon, Ham), served with Rice, Fried Rice, Hash Brown or Toast – $7.50

Wifey enjoyed their blueberry turnover with a coffee. Perhaps she enjoyed it a little too much because she ordered 2 more to go! :P Nah, they were actually super onos!

Blueberry Turnover - $2
Blueberry Turnover – $2

Blue Ginger Cafe provided a great escape from the touristy resort life, and brought us back to grass root, mom and pop-type living/eating. Highly recommended!

Blue Ginger Cafe
409 7th Street
Lana`i City, Lana`i, HI 96763 (map)
(808) 565-6363
Mon, Thu, Fri: 6am-8pm
Tue, Wed: 6am-2pm
Sat, Sun: 6:30am-8pm

Following breakfast, we made a quick stop back at our room to freshen up before heading to Lana`i’s other Four Seasons property: Lana`i at Manele Bay.

Looking out into Hulopo`e Bay from the Manele Bay resort lobby area
Looking out into Hulopo`e Bay from the Manele Bay resort lobby area

Looking into the Manele Bay resort lobby area
Looking into the Manele Bay resort lobby area

The pool area at the Manele Bay resort
The pool area at the Manele Bay resort

As you can see in the photos, The Lana`i at Manele Bay resort is a very ritzy, beach-type resort. The kind you see in magazines and those “Win a Trip to Hawaii” contest fliers. :) If this is more your style, then I would say go getum and book away!

Four Seasons Resort Lana`i at Manele Bay
One Manele Bay Road
Lana`i City, HI 96763 (map)
(808) 565-2000
Twitter: @FSLanai

As for us, we were just passing on through, on the way to the beach that sits behind the resort: Hulopo`e Bay.

Overlooking Hulopo`e Bay
Overlooking Hulopo`e Bay

At the bottom of the trail, you’ll meet up with one of the friendly employees who will hook you up with towels, an umbrella and beach chairs (and covers) to help you lounge and relax on the amazing oceanfront. And, oh yes, more refreshments!

The life
The life

Ed’s Tip: Both resorts’ systems are connected, so I am told that as long as you are staying at one, you can charge things at the other no problem. That means that you don’t have to worry about carrying around your wallet/money. Just charge um to the room!

The beach is absolutely gahgeous. Everything you’d wish for in a dream beach: white sand, clear, blue water, and barren! Aside from the dozen or so other beach-goers at the time, we pretty much had the whole beach to ourselves.

Hulopo`e Bay, Lana`i
Hulopo`e Bay, Lana`i

Ed’s Tips: Keep to the left side of the bay (if you’re facing the ocean), as there are rocks and reef on the right side. Pack your goggles. The water is so clear that you’ll be able to see all the way to the bottom of the ocean. You might even catch tiny fish swimming around your legs like us.

Once you’ve had your fill of Hulopo`e Bay Beach, head southeast along the beach (left if you’re facing the ocean) until you get to a little trail that leads to one of two of the trail’s highlights: The Hulopo`e Bay Tide Pools.

Hulopo`e Bay Tide Pools
Hulopo`e Bay Tide Pools

Hulopo`e Bay Tide Pools
Hulopo`e Bay Tide Pools

Hulopo`e Bay Tide Pools
Hulopo`e Bay Tide Pools

While on the beach, I shoved my T-shirt in wifey’s bag in a feeble attempt to get a tan. During the hike, I decided to put my shirt back on so I reached in wifey’s bag to pull it out. To our surprise, a friendly little scorpion decided that he wanted to come along on the hike with us. Yeah a scorpion! WTH!? OK, so it probably wasn’t very friendly, but it was little. In my haste, I shook off my shirt and sent the scorpion flying into one of the tide pools. Sorry little guy!

My buddy, the little scorpion, floating around in one of the Hulopo`e Bay's Tide Pools
My buddy, the little scorpion, floating around in one of the Hulopo`e Bay’s Tide Pools

Ed’s Tip: Not sure how common these are in the area, but beware of the possibility of mini scorpions. Shake off your bags and clothing just in case.

Continuing along the trail, we got to the other highlight. The crown jewel of the area. None other than Pu`u Pehe (Sweetheart Rock).

Pu`u Pehe Rock
Pu`u Pehe Rock

My first thought when experiencing this remarkable work of Mother Nature was “Wow!” with the first word seeping outta my mouth being “Ho!” And it’s even more amazing as you get closer.

Pu`u Pehe from the cliff's edge
Pu`u Pehe from the cliff’s edge

The rock even has an amazing story to go along with it: It is believed that Pu`u Pehe was named after a beautiful young princess from Maui by the same name. She moved to Lana`i after falling in love with a young warrior from the island. Afraid to let others see her beautiful princess, the warrior hid her in a sea cave near the rock. One day, while away gathering supplies, terrible weather hit the area. Before he could return in time, the strong, storm waves had already drowned his princess in the cave. Distraught, he asked for help from the gods, who helped him climb up to the top of the steep rock where he eventually buried his beloved princess before jumping to his death.

Talk about romantic yeah?

Either way, it’s truly a majestic sight and is a definite must-see while on Lana`i.

Pu`u Pehe (Sweetheart Rock)
Pu`u Pehe (Sweetheart Rock)

Pu`u Pehe (Sweetheart Rock)
Pu`u Pehe (Sweetheart Rock)

Pu`u Pehe (Sweetheart Rock)
Pu`u Pehe (Sweetheart Rock)

Oops, the bottom of the hour is coming up. We better hurry back to the shuttle stop before it takes off without us!

A quick shuttle ride back to our hotel and a power nap later, and *poof* it was time for din-din. We weren’t all that hungry so we opted to stay in and try the resort’s Terrace Restaurant on for size. Located right across the lobby, next to the Great Hall (that included live lounge music by a local pianist), it was a relaxing meal after a long day.

Wifey enjoyed the House Made Lobster Ravioli, while I opted for the “Design Your Entree” option with my Tiger Prawns and Hamakua Mushrooms combo.

House Made Lobster Ravioli - Cabernet Butter Sauce Over Wilted Swiss Chard - $30.
House Made Lobster Ravioli – Cabernet Butter Sauce Over Wilted Swiss Chard – $30.

"Design Your Entrée": Grilled Tiger Prawns with Mango Relish and Sauteed Hamakua Mushrooms (Garlic Butter) - $33
“Design Your Entrée”: Grilled Tiger Prawns with Mango Relish and Sauteed Hamakua Mushrooms (Garlic Butter) – $33

And then it was on to dessert with the waitress-recommended Baked Chocolate Tart.

Baked Chocolate Tart - Kona Coffee Ice Cream - $9
Baked Chocolate Tart – Kona Coffee Ice Cream – $9

Terrace Restaurant
Four Seasons Resort, Lanai, The Lodge at Koele
One Keomoku Hwy
Lana`i City, HI 96763 (map)
(808) 565-4000

With our bellies satisfied, it was time to head back to our room to hit the hay in preparation for our last full day on this beautiful island. Aww, too soon! :(

Ed’s Tip: If you’re a movie buff, your room comes equipped with a DVD player. You can rent from a limited selection of DVDs from the front desk for free.

The next morning marked the actual anniversary date for wifey and I and was cause for celebration. We decided to step out onto our patio area with the blueberry turnovers from Blue Ginger Cafe, hot coffee and tea from downstairs, and a little bubbly in the form of a Piper-Hiedsieck bottle of Brut Champagne, compliments of the wonderful staff at the Four Seasons Resort’s Lodge at Koele. Much love guys!

Piper-Hiedsieck Brut Champagne, compliments of the Four Seasons Resort's Lodge at Koele.
Piper-Hiedsieck Brut Champagne, compliments of the Four Seasons Resort’s Lodge at Koele.

Ed’s Tip: Coffee and Tea are served in the lobby area from 5:30AM-8AM every morning. We were also told that pastries would be there too, but perhaps you need to go early for those?

After sharing our memories of the last year together, it was time to make the best of our last day on the island. We started by exploring the vast grounds of our own resort, the Lodge at Koele.

Sign for the Four Seasons Resort Lana`i, The Lodge at Koele
Sign for the Four Seasons Resort Lana`i, The Lodge at Koele

Looking out towards Keomoku Highway
Looking out towards Keomoku Highway

Looking towards the Lodge at Koele's main building
Looking towards the Lodge at Koele’s main building

Enter the main building and you’ll be amazed by the Great Hall. Here’s a panoramic view.

Panoramic of the Great Hall
Panoramic of the Great Hall

Exit through the back of the main building and you’ll run into a curious statue, one of the many art pieces around the property.

Statue at the Lodge at Koele
Statue at the Lodge at Koele

Walking forward for a bit, we hit the Pineapple Fountain, a popular spot for weddings.

Pineapple Fountain
Pineapple Fountain

To the left is the property’s pool and hot tub area and to the right is the Reflecting Pond. Filled with Koi, this is one of the property’s main focal points.

The Reflecting Pond
The Reflecting Pond

Probably a good a time as any to play tourist. We obliged.

Using the Reflecting Pond as our backdrop
Using the Reflecting Pond as our backdrop

Close by, there is a greenhouse called the Orchid House and Gardens. Here’s a description from the web: The greenhouse at Four Seasons Resort Lana’i, The Lodge at Koele is filled with the sweet scents and vibrant colours of orchids, hanging ferns, potted palms and tropical flowers. On the walk up to the greenhouse you will enjoy a breathtaking view of the mountains and the lake. Admission is free.

Orchid House and Gardens
Orchid House and Gardens

To the right, is a cool, temple-like structure with an Asian influence. Check it!

Asian influenced, temple-like structure
Asian influenced, temple-like structure

Depending on the season (I’m guessing), you may notice turkeys scurrying around the resort grounds. They’re not very friendly, but cute nonetheless. :P

Turkeys on the Lodge at Koele grounds
Turkeys on the Lodge at Koele grounds

Continuing right, you’ll find one of the coolest, golf-related things I’ve ever seen: a full, 18-hole miniature golf putting course, complete with water hazards, sand traps and all! Just ask the front desk to rent a putter and ball. It’s free.

18 hole miniature golf putting course
18 hole miniature golf putting course

Ed’s Tip: Unless you’ve got mad, Tiger Woods type skillz like me :P , you may want to either putt and run, or have your friend/mate/partner go up ahead and “protect” your ball. Some greens are really fast, with impossible turns, that your ball will inevitably be drawn to go for a swim in the shimmering water. ;)

Our last day in Lanai was coming to a close, but we were starving. One last stop at Lanai City to grab lunch should do the trick. We hit up Blue Ginger Cafe’s neighbor Canoes Lana`i (formerly Tanigawa Restaurant, est. 1953).

Canoe's Lanai Restaurant
Canoe’s Lanai Restaurant

The sign out front said, “Home of the Famous Tanigawa Burger” so you betchyo bottom that’s what I hadta have. (And yes… for you eagle eyes out there who noticed the “Closed” sign above: this photo was taken the day before. Sheez, let a brutha slide once in a while won’tcha? :P )

Tanigawa Burger - Mrs. Tanigawa's original recipe. A Lana`i tradition since 1953 - $2.30 each with an order of curly fries - $2.09
Tanigawa Burger – Mrs. Tanigawa’s original recipe. A Lana`i tradition since 1953 – $2.30 each with an order of curly fries – $2.09

Ed’s Tip: The Tanigawa Burger runs on the small side, so I would advise you to order two if you’re hungry. At least that’s what the waitress told me all the local boys do.

Wifey was craving fried rice at Blue Ginger the other morning, but they were all out. The urge must’ve still been ever-present cause she fried riced it up here for lunch.

Fried Rice and Egg - $5.69
Fried Rice and Egg – $5.69

Canoes Lana`i Restaurant
419 7th Street
Lanai City, Lanai, HI 96763 (map)
(808) 565-6537
Open daily: 6:30am-1PM

Before we knew it, it was time to wake up from this dream and head to the airport for our flight back home to reality.

View from Lana`i Airport at dusk
View from Lana`i Airport at dusk

But then again, our eyes were open the whole time…

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